A long time ago....

I wrote a story about 'spider woman'.  I have come across that girl in lots of different ways here & there since the time I wrote that first post.  I thought I hated her.  I thought I needed her to pay for the way she treated myself & my family but now I know that everyday, in some small way, she suffers at her own hand. 

How hard would it be to look in the mirror & actually hate yourself.  How hard would it be to know that even though you swore you made sense at the time, people are sitting in judgement of the mistakes you continue to make because you won't acknowledge or repair the damage you create or forgive a gesture you misunderstood & continue to make things worse for everyone around including yourself.

I am thankful to say that I have good wholesome, honest, well~meaning people in my life who know me & love me right where I am at because I am enough...I do enough...I am good enough.  I am so lucky that I can pick up a phone & call a friend & know they are my friend.  On the other hand, I am sad for spidey girl because she doesn't know what a true friend is or where to look for one or how to be one.    It must be a lonely place.

Some might ask why I give this so much effort & why after all this time I am still thinking about it... the answer is simple.  It hurts my heart to know that someone out there is cheating themself out of friendship.  I think I can be a pretty great friend & I was but it wasn't enough for her.  I have to come to grips with the simple fact that you aren't compatible with everyone & everyone can't like you but the ones that do should be cherished & respected & loved for all they are & all they do!

It is my sincere hope that some day this person heals in her heart enough to want to embrace the possibility of friendship.  True friends are real gems.

My reasons for EVERY season!!

So here we are, about a year since I started this blog.  I am not very good at keeping it up to date.  Life is busy.  I have three very good reasons for being busy!  They keep me on my toes but they make my life worth living too! 
Jordan, now 15 is having much success at his new school.  Since Grade 10 began at Eagle Butte High, he has been dedicated to his studies.  He is working very hard to keep his grade point average high so that he can "make alot of money".  I haven't seen him this committed to something.  So handsome at his young age.  Megan is the gift that keeps on giving.  There are times when she will do the laundry or clean the kitchen with no one asking her.  This Christmas that little beauty truly took the spirit of Christmas and applied it to her friends.  On her own & with her own money (for the most part), she picked things up here & there for each one of her friends.  I don't mean a little treat.  I mean a gift bag of treasures that she know they would love.  There were socks & treats, keychains & treasures!  It was awesome to see the spirit of giving. 
Brendan...our resident comedian has been keeping us in stitches as always.  He decided this hockey season to play as a player when he wasn't tending net.  Much to my surprise, he has assisted a couple of goals & apparently got a roughing penalty.  He is the kind of guy that pitches in when it comes to his friends.  They only have 11 players on the team (2 being goalies) so when they play several games like in a tournament, he plays out to help out the team.  Something I respect.  he isn't as adept as a player but he goes out there & works hard & has lots of laughs!!

With warm hearts we wish all of our friends and family a holiday season full of all the blessings life can bring.  Have a Merry Christmas & a blessed & fulfilling new year!!

Almost outta here...

Well...as of today there are 5 more sleeps until my family boards the plane for Aruba!! I cannot wait to walk through the sand in my bare feet.  I cannot wait to watch my kids lazing around on the beach!  I think it will be wonderful.  Aruba only has 90,000 population.  The island is about 19 miles across!  They speak dutch, portugese, spanish & english.  I hear there is a street festival akin to a mini Mardi Gras while we are there along with a cattamaran regatta, & a trip to the butterfly sanctuary.  We will lay around on the beach, snorkel, eat good food...maybe the parents will partake in some nightlife!  Can't wait to be away together as a family with Grandma too!!  The boys are not happy about missing hockey.  Jordan is distraught at the homework he will have when he returns but other than that..we are ready to board that plane!!

Handsome...isn't he?!

Wow!  Been a long time since I posted!  I had my handsome 15 year old son's pictures taken a few weeks ago.  He refused his Grade nine grad....hence, no pictures!  I wanted to celebrate in some way that he moved into High school so I had Epic Photography capture him doing what he loves best!  It strikes me each time I look at him just how grown up he is becoming.  Soon, he will graduate, (not that I am wishing my time away with him), he informs me he wants to leave home & head off to a post secondary institute.  I know it won't be close to home.  He is ready for change.  He is ready to grow up even if we aren't!  I hope he knows that no matter where he goes or what he does...home is where I hope his heart lies... just like he takes a piece of us when he goes!

A little diddy about the rain

Wow!  We have rain...& not just a little bit!!  The school is closed today because the highway is somewhat washed out!!  Some people hate the rain.  I kinda like it!  Maybe not this much of it but it washed away the dirt & debris left from the winter.  The plants, trees, shrubs & grass have a nice long drink.  It is cuddle weather & crafting & baking weather!  There are blessings in everything we are given but you sometimes have to look for them! 

free to be...

wow!!  this has been the end to an amazing weekend.  There was a little bit of planting, some relaxing, a movie, lots of soccer, beautiful weather & time together!!

we wrapped up another obligation this weekend.  I no longer have to take part in our local festival (very small scale) called Dunmore Daze.  Kevin & myself as well as a neighbour, worked on the games for the kids part.  I collected over 300 prizes & masterminded the games.  This was not a commitment I made for myself & one I am not sure I will continue with.  I just know that I don't have to do anything with it anymore.  One less thing tying me down....I am free to be!

So today, I will help a friend for a while & then I will push forward with all I have to accomplish in my own house.  Just in time for the kids to arrive home from school.  We will have supper & enjoy another evening of soccer & togetherness!!  I hope everyone feels a full with life (happy) as I do!!

Feeling on top of the world!!

Hey all...been feeling so good.  On so many levels.  Even a visit from Mother Nature could not make me sad.  I had a blast this last few days!  Doing things that I love.  Got to see my favorite band, spend time with a few of my favorite people, & shopping in the big city.  Kay, it was a little more than that.  I have been painting a little & building a little & it feels darn good to be able to help a friend out even if she is doing all the choosing & I am simply & gently guiding her to make a choice!! Even bigger than that, I see people every day who are jealous or sad or mad & I don't want to be in those moods.  It feels so much better being thankful for all that God has given me.  I am blessed beyond measure & that is what my focus should be on...

I am not saying (little dis-qualifier here) that I am never going to get in those moods cause let's face it...everyone has a bad day here & there!  I just know I want to spend more time on the positive side of things.  When you don't, you lend yourself to speculation & you can become paranoid.  If you stay positive as much as you can, that is what you bring into your life.  There are some people I know (& it makes me so sad to watch them) struggle through the turbulence.  There are those who live in the turbulence because they thrive on others misfortune & sadness because they don't EXPECT more for themselves!!  How pitiful when they become mean & make others their target!!

So if any of this makes sense...love yourself & all the things you DO have.  Don't worry about the things you don't have for sometimes they can be a burden....