Monday, January 17, 2011

A long time ago....

I wrote a story about 'spider woman'.  I have come across that girl in lots of different ways here & there since the time I wrote that first post.  I thought I hated her.  I thought I needed her to pay for the way she treated myself & my family but now I know that everyday, in some small way, she suffers at her own hand. 

How hard would it be to look in the mirror & actually hate yourself.  How hard would it be to know that even though you swore you made sense at the time, people are sitting in judgement of the mistakes you continue to make because you won't acknowledge or repair the damage you create or forgive a gesture you misunderstood & continue to make things worse for everyone around including yourself.

I am thankful to say that I have good wholesome, honest, well~meaning people in my life who know me & love me right where I am at because I am enough...I do enough...I am good enough.  I am so lucky that I can pick up a phone & call a friend & know they are my friend.  On the other hand, I am sad for spidey girl because she doesn't know what a true friend is or where to look for one or how to be one.    It must be a lonely place.

Some might ask why I give this so much effort & why after all this time I am still thinking about it... the answer is simple.  It hurts my heart to know that someone out there is cheating themself out of friendship.  I think I can be a pretty great friend & I was but it wasn't enough for her.  I have to come to grips with the simple fact that you aren't compatible with everyone & everyone can't like you but the ones that do should be cherished & respected & loved for all they are & all they do!

It is my sincere hope that some day this person heals in her heart enough to want to embrace the possibility of friendship.  True friends are real gems.

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